When you truly focus on minding your own business, life becomes so much better, easier, and smoother. I’m still learning and trying to apply this lesson almost every day. It feels like God is constantly testing me by placing me in situations where I have to decide whether to mind my own business or to activate the healer, adviser, coach, or therapist within me.
The truth is, people don’t always need our advice—unless they explicitly ask for it. When someone comes to you directly and says something like, “What do you think about this?” or “Can I share something with you and get your opinion?” or “Can you advise me on this matter?”—only then is it appropriate to offer advice.
If you don’t hear these kinds of statements, please refrain from offering unsolicited advice, even if it’s out of love and care. I’ve learned that unsolicited advice can sometimes leave people worse off than when they first approached you. For example, imagine my friend meets me, and her emotional and mental state is at a four out of ten. She starts telling me about a situation at work or with her partner. Out of concern, I offer her my perspective, thinking it might help because I see her struggling with repetitive patterns.
But here’s the catch—if my friend doesn’t take my advice or feels unable to act on it just yet, the advice lingers in her mind and can make her feel guilty for not following it. This guilt can worsen her emotional and mental state, dropping her to a three or even a two out of ten. Now, instead of helping her, I’ve unintentionally made her feel worse. Her sadness might ripple into other areas of her life, affecting other relationships and people. In this way, my well-intentioned advice, given out of love, ends up negatively affecting many souls.
And here’s the tough part: it becomes a karmic burden on me.
If we could visualize this chain reaction every time we feel compelled to offer advice based on our own perspectives and experiences, we might think twice before speaking. Often, people open their hearts to us because they need someone to listen, to provide a safe and supportive space. Once they finish talking, they often feel better without needing any input.
What we fail to realize is that we project our own thoughts onto their situation, imagining how we would handle it—but their life is not ours.
So, let people be. Let them live their lives, face their karma, and walk their own journeys, no matter how much you love and care for them.
Allow people to experience life for themselves. Let them express themselves freely. Be the ear that listens and the heart that understands.
It takes a lot of practice—trust me. I’m still working on this every single day and learning new levels of this lesson. I constantly remind myself: Mind your own business.